My war with Dementia

My war with Dementia

Hi,
My name is Carol Bevin and my passion is dementia after losing my gorgeous
Mum on Boxing Day 2012 after 15 long years of heartache, watching the woman

who always made everything right in my life, slowly fade away with dementia.

 

Me and my gorgeous mum.

Going from a busty outgoing lady to a shell, existing in her
bed, unable to communicate, Dementia is a cruel evil illness that takes
everything away and leaves heartache and destruction to lives. I believe
I will never be the same person I was before Mums diagnosis, It changes
lives and hearts and rips them into a million pieces and leaves you
empty just asking why and how this illness took away what it did.
I lost her in a way that I needed closure and never got it, a so-called
carer broke her shoulder on 8th December 2012 and she was in the hospital

until she took her last breath 26th December 2012. They even dressed

They even dressed her in a jumper to go to the hospital with a suspected

broken shoulder,  her face shown me she was in agony, the hospital cut the
jumper off so they didn’t cause any more pain to her. Knowing she was
not going to recover was horrendous to know, you are waiting for the end
every day you think is the last, all I could do was kiss and cuddle
her telling her I was with her and there I would stay until she
decided she was going to Heaven, a friend brought a camp bed and there
I slept taking turns with my daughter Nicola, Nothing else mattered
only making sure Mum went out of this world as comfortable as
possible and knowing she was loved so much by us all. People told
me it would be a relief but in all honesty, It hit me very hard, I
think when someone has been so poorly for so long,

I believed she would always be there,

The word dead was horrific for me
to say or think about, I had the guilt of

letting her go into the care
home that someone hurt her in, Guilt I

couldn’t find out who did it, the guilt I wasn’t able to care for her at

home where she would have been safe. Grief gives you feelings you have never

experienced before, I was told by a good friend there is no right or wrong way to
grieve and just go with the flow, I did just that but I kept coming
back to why someone would hurt a very poorly human being, I prayed
for a few years for her to have a heart attack and her suffering would
end but to get hurt then die is not the way it should have been and
I think that’s why I couldn’t get over her for so long. Me and Mum
made a promise to each other and that was she would always remember
she loved me and my promise was I would be with her until the end, as
I walked with her coffin on my shoulder and put it down I knew my
promise was kept to her.
Today I am at war with dementia, I tell anyone who will listen
how it will be and I try to give tips on how to make things a bit
easier coping with a loved one with dementia, I have cared for others
living with dementia and I have just finished 7 months of live-in care
with a lady in Scotland who has Alzheimers and lives alone, Now I am
able to talk about different roles of caring from a daughters view
and now also as a professional carer living with a stranger.

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