Diagnosis Difference

Diagnosis Difference

Carol and her mum


By Carol


Once a diagnosis has been given to dementia, things

fall into place of why the behaviour’s has been 

happening, Its a bit of a relief to get a name for 

odd happening’s but a protective feeling comes

into play and suddenly I started to help more and

I become very protective over my Mum just like 

you do your child, Suddenly I became the protector,

the one that chose what would be okay to do, or 

not to, The one that had to make sure Mums life

was happy and safe, comforting her daily and 

telling her everything was going to be alright, I 

told her the day of the diagnosis we were in this

together and we would see it through as best we 

could. I may not have always got things right but

I will always believe I dealt with it the best way I 

could. Mum looked at me as the Mum and if I told

her not to do something then I knew she wouldn’t

do it, This is where you need to educate yourself about

and what to expect, how to deal with certain 

situations with the best outcome,what not to say and

to know the person is not giving you a hard time but 

the dementia is giving the person a hard time, It’s a scary

world full of uncertainties of the outcome but if you 

can say you have given it your full understanding, time, love

and patience then you have done your best and that

is all you can do. Your heart will break into tiny pieces 

watching a loved one getting confused and scared of 

changes what they feel not to be right but you need to be

stronger than never before and see the person through 

dementia, not taking independence away but stepping in

to help when you see the person struggling and getting

embarrassed, angry and frustrated. Imagine yourself in 

the situation sometimes too confused to do the simplest 

of tasks, to say a word but the wrong word comes out, they 

are aware of the changes and it must be so terrifying to 

know your mind is not your own, patience and comfort is 

needed at all times, keep reminding yourself the person 

is very ill even if they look the same. We need to get into 

the person’s reality as sometimes it is impossible for 

the person to get into our reality, always remember we 

can come out anytime we want to and the person cant,

they are stuck in the confusion and it’s very cruel to watch.

Dementia is evil in what it does and takes away for all 

concerned, life will never be the same again after you 

have looked dementia in the face daily but once you 

look back and see how well you did cope with the changes

you will feel proud to have helped the person along the 

way, no one is perfect and you will make mistakes but if

we learn from these then it won’t happen again and we can 

find different coping strategies to help us along.

Remember to get as much help as you can, take Me Time 

and do the things you enjoy when you have time off,

too many people get lost and its hard to get back the 

life you once had, slot it in in your Me Time and become

the person you once was and do the things you enjoy,

this  way it will recharge your batteries to deal with the 

battle you are fighting with dementia.




Kind regards


Carol Bevin

Dementia Ambassador

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