Music Memory Lane (think we’ll call it MML for short if that’s okay ) MML is the brainchild of myself Pete Melia and my business partner Carol Bevin, That’s Carol with her mum.
After carols mother Maureen Bevin was diagnosed at the age of 56 with Vascular dementia,( she’d probably had it for two years prior as we don’t take them to the doctors straight away, do we), she suffered with this dreaded evil disease for 15 years and sadly passed away with severe vascular Dementia and Pneumonia on Boxing Day 2012 (as stated on death certificate). Carol and her son (Lee), and two daughters (Nicola and Laura) basically devoted all those years to caring for her Mum and( Nan) until such a time came when mum had to go into a permanent care home, such was her devotion to her Mum that when she was put into a home which didn’t meet Carols standards she actually kidnapped her Mum and took her home with her and kept her at home for six years, needless to say, Mum never went back to that place. Carol Stubbornly and rightly so, refusing to let her go back there, So a new more suitable place had to be found, which was six years later. I myself only met Maureen in 2010 and she was and had been in a home for quite sometime, but she got visits on a regular basis virtually every day off Carol and her devoted children (grandchildren), and I seen quite a difference in the two years I had known her from someone who had a little of her faculties left, to someone who, well just wasn’t there no more and was just basically a shell, wasting away to nothing, and watching Carol with her dearest mother, was totally amazing, and inspiring for me and a few others.
I have always, and still do maintain that somebody who has gone through something is the best person to seek advice from, like a drug counselor who has never had a drug habit, well what good are they for advice, on something they have never experienced first hand probably just read it all in books, so what can they tell you about the effects of withdrawal, if they have never withdrawn from it, people who have been there, done that, got the t-shirt are surely the best to seek advice from, pretty obvious I think.
Anyway back to Carol, after Carol lost her mum she declared war with dementia and gives information about her experiences to anybody who will listen, as all them years ago there was not much information out there, Carol actually did not know it was a terminal illness as this information was not as freely available as it is today, Carol became an Ambassador for Purple Angels and brought awareness to Warrington Carol’s hometown as she strongly believes with the communities help and patience, people living with dementia can live a lot longer in their own home, as a carer for a loved one you become very isolated, there becomes a role reversal as Carol became a mother figure to her mum which is heartbreaking watching a loved one fade away daily is soul destroying knowing there is nothing you can do to help except love, protect and cherish them. All to commonly siblings and other family members disappear usually leaving one person to do everything.
There will be a free eBook coming soon it will be about my story(Carols story)
and giving some proven methods for dealing with the person with dementia. It will be free to
download and keep, as I’m sure a lot of you dealing with the person with dementia and their
families will find some of the information on it invaluable.
An excerpt from the free eBook
18) Love, Protect and Cherish your loved one, treat them with respect and full dignity whenever possible.
A paragraph from Carol’s story
I loved her so much I would cry myself to sleep at night knowing she was changing every day and there was nothing I could do to help her as everything I would do would be forgotten the day after, It was like ground hog day every day, I was scared of her changes but never of her, I knew she loved me and would never hurt me, She became very argumentative and stubborn but I knew that it was her illness and not her.